Managing Relationships Sadhguru, Isha Foundation

When you live in this
world, there are various types
of complex interactions
happening. As your field
of play increases, the
complexity of interaction
also goes on increasing.
If you are just sitting in a
cubicle, working on your
computer with only one
other person, you need
only a little understanding.
But if you are managing
a thousand people, you
need a vast understanding
of everybody. If you are
managing a thousand people
and you want all these
people to understand you,
then you are not going to
manage anything. You need
to understand the limitations
and the capabilities of these
thousand people and do what
you can. Only then will you
have the power to move the
situation the way you want
it to go. If you are waiting
for these thousand people
to understand you and act,
it is only a pipe dream; it
is never going to happen.
T h e c l o s e r t h e
relationship is, the more
effort you should make
to understand them.
Somebody becomes closer
and dearer to you only as
you understand them better.
If they understand you,
they enjoy the closeness
of the relationship. If you
understand them better, then
you enjoy the closeness.
It is not that the other
person is totally bereft of
understanding. With your
understanding, you can
create situations where the
other person would be able
to understand you better. If
you are expecting the other
to understand and comply
with you all the time while
you don’t understand the
limitations, the possibilities,
the needs and the capabilities
of that person, then conflict
is all that will happen.
Unfortunately, the closest
relationships in the world
have more conflict going
on than between enemies.
People have fought
many more battles in their
relationships than India and
Pakistan. This is because
your line of understanding
and theirs is different. If you
cross this L.O.C., they will
get mad. If they cross it, you
will get mad. But if you move
your understanding beyond
theirs, their understanding
also becomes a part of your
understanding. You will
be able to embrace their
limitations and capabilities.
In everyone, there are some
positive aspects and some
negative aspects. If you
embrace all this in your
understanding, you can
make the relationship the
way you want it. If you leave
it to their understanding, it
will become accidental. If
they are very magnanimous,
things will happen well for
you. If not, the relationship
will break up.
All I am asking is: do
you want to be the one
who decides what happens
to your life? Whether they
are intimate relationships,
professional, political,
global or whatever, don’t
you want to be the person
who decides what happens
in your life? If you do, you
better include everything
and everybody into your
understanding. You should
enhance your understanding
to such a point that you
can look beyond people’s
madness also. There are
very wonderful people
around you, but once in a
while they like to go crazy
for a few minutes. If you
don’t understand that, you
will lose them. If you don’t
understand their madness,
you will definitely lose
them. If you do, then you
know how to handle them.
Life is not always a straight
line; you have to do many
things to keep it going. If you
forsake your understanding,
your capability will be lost.
Whether it is a question of
personal relationships or
professional management,
in both places you need
understanding. Otherwise,
you will not have fruitful
relationships